Jaded Butterflies

I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm not sure if I'm not really over my ex, or I've just grown up and become more cynical or if it's him but I just don't feel any butterflies. Let's start with the past...

I was absolutely positively sure that I loved my ex, he loved me and we were going to take on the world together. That thinking was what got me through tough times during school, because even if I failed, someone would have my back and we would work something out. Just knowing that it was going to be okay even if I did fail, let me get really good grades and a degree since I didn't psych myself out and choke during the important parts. I like having a safety net and sort of a worse case scenario go through my head before I attempt something hard. It's just the way I am. So I through myself into that relationship. I realize now that I lost or hid some parts of myself in order to make things fit but in all honesty, I remember being totally and completely happy. Fully content and peaceful and secure and everything good. I was totally in love. And then we broke up and everything I believed in pretty much blew up in my face. And as of right now, I don't know if I can put that level of trust in someone again, and if I can't trust them, how can I love them?

So let's talk about now and the Nice Guy.
~He likes it when I sing along to the radio (no one likes it when I do this, especially not repeatedly; I'm not very good).
~His friends keep telling me how lucky I am because he's such a nice guy and everybody really likes him, but he tells me he thinks he's the lucky one because I gave him a second chance and he's never been this happy. He also says he felt like something was missing in his life and now he doesn't feel that way anymore.
~He's affectionate, which I love. My ex was pretty much all against PDA but the Nice Guy will hold my hand and kiss me in public.
~He has a dog that gets along with my dog, and he likes my dog a lot (Bonus Points!). And he has other animals on his farm, and I always thought I'd be a farm girl. Plus he named a chicken for me. I also named his ducks.
~His family likes me and is nice to me, my ex's mom never liked me. She thought I was stuck up because the first time I met her I didn't say much. But she's not very friendly and I was really intimidated and shy and it was in high school. So since I couldn't think of anything to say, I chose to say nothing. But that's water under the bridge.
~His financially mature, doesn't waste his money on stupid things nor is he in really bad debt. He pays his credit card off on time.
~He has a job that he loves, so while a couple people at work are a little annoying he's not really a complainer.
~He has a nice body and he's attentive in bed. This next part I'm not going to like saying though. He's not as good as my ex but I'm hoping he'll get there. My ex could tell just from the way I was breathing whether I really liked something or not. I'm hoping that's just a "how well you know the person" thing. Plus Nice Guy was a virgin when we started dating and he can still get me off, it's just not with fireworks. I'll say this though, he won't go unless I've gone first. Which is pretty impressive for a virgin.
~He wants to go places with me. I don't have to beg him to dance with me. He's a "Yes" guy and I tend to be a "Yes" girl. Which could be a little troublesome because this whole month we've been dating has felt like a whirlwind since we're always going places and seeing people. I don't think we've had one day where it's just been us. Probably need to work on that because I've been tired lately.
~He's nice to his mom and grandma. Which everyone says is a good sign he'll be good to a girlfriend/wife.
~He wants a couple kids. Part of the reason I broke up with my ex was because he was absolutely positive he never wanted kids. So this is a pretty key feature. Plus we like the same name (I know it's really early to be talking about kids but it just kind of came up while we were watching a movie and I said I liked that name and he said he really did too and was hoping to name one of the kids that...)

So all of those are good things and I'm sure there are more. And I really really like him. I think he's fantastic.  But I have no butterflies. If I don't see him for a few days, I'm totally fine. I don't "miss" him while he's gone. I don't know if I'm just more independent now or I've become more confident in myself. Maybe this is good and it means I can be with someone because I choose to be with them and not because I'm afraid to be without them. Still... I miss the butterflies.